As you may remember from a previous post, my husband and I will be attending a wedding this weekend out of town. The actual wedding is on Saturday and the reception is on Sunday so we have to stay at least two nights. The location is around 2 1/2 hours from our house. The bride and groom are from a different culture than ours so we are very excited to learn about weddings in this culture.
I made a budget when I first found out about going. Basically this budget would include fuel, food, gift, and hotel expenses. We priced out a hotel on priceline and luckily got one that has a pretty good breakfast included so I was happy about that. The total for two nights is just under $100. There will be food of some sort on both days so we really only have a few meals to buy. We know for sure we are stopping by a cafe that we both love and will probably do a cheapy meal for the other. I am hoping to squeeze the fuel into our monthly allotment but this will require watching our driving through the rest of the month. Lastly we were able to get a really great wedding gift for less than $20.
What I had not planned on was purchasing clothing for both events. Neither my husband or I dress up for our jobs and we really dont have many dress clothes. The ones we do have are a little tight, if you know what I mean, or dont fit at all. I probably could have gotten away with things I had but my husband definently needed something. I spent about $40 on my outfits and my husband spent around $70. Not too bad, but this entire experience is turning out to be around $350. It is sort of bitter sweet. Its not my friend so I am not emotionally attached to going, but my husband is. I guess what I am getting at is that there are a million other things I would want to spend $350 on, namely debt reduction. But there are things in life you just have to do so I will go and make the best of it. If nothing else, my husband and I get to have a few nights alone without the kids, so that will be worth it I think.
This was one of the biggest lessons I had to learn when we started our debt payoff: you can skip some of these "life events." We've just decided that unless it's immediate family, we aren't going. You could send a nice $50-$100 gift and stay at home saving yourself $200. I know some people have a really hard time saying no to weddings and reunions and that sort of thing, but isn't it more important to stay in contact with the couple and give support as they move through their marriage? A wedding is only one day.
ReplyDeleteYou had so many other choices in how to celebrate this event rather than going "whole hog" with new outfits, meals out, hotel expenses, driving, etc.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I hate to be rude, but I think a $20 gift is a cheap gift when you spent so much on yourselves for this event. If $20 was all you could truly afford, fine. But it looks like you went cheap on them and big on yourself. Is this something the couple truly wants/needs/likes? Or is this something you could pick up on the cheap?
Two and a half hours away is not that far. Here's what you could have done:
1. Reception only, skip the separate ceremony date, no need for a hotel then
2. Gone to both but drove back and forth each day, negating the need for a hotel
3. Split a hotel with another couple or stayed with friends/relatives if possible
4. Got a dirt cheap hotel ($35) for one night and skipped the second night's expense, leaving early enough to get yourselves home safely, bringing breakfast type foods with you to eat in the room
5. Not bought ANY new outfits at all. Surely you had something that could have worked. Or borrow from a friend/relative/family member.
6. Bought something super cheap to wear at Walmart, Goodwill, Target, etc. I bet you could have both spent less than $20 on outfits even if something new was absolutely necessary.
7. You have up to one year to give a gift, so skipping this event altogether and sending a moderately priced gift and a nice card might have been the best option here when you are almost half a million dollars in debt!
8. Eat cheap on the road by packing lunches/dinners. No need to go out to eat.
I really love reading your blog, but I think to spend $350 on a wedding, not including gasoline, is ridiculous if you don't have to fly there, especially given that you cannot afford it.
So I find the above post a bit harsh. Yes, you could have spent less than $350, but you also can't miss out on life events just because you are paying down debt. The way I look at it, over a year ago you probably would have spent double but because you have started this challenge and are watching every penny, you were able to reduce the expense of the event. I hope you enjoy a weekend away with your husband and keep working on it! Small changes will make a difference in the long run!
ReplyDeleteThere will always be more ways to cut money. Always. You have to live a little even when you are in debt pay-off mode. From what this event would have cost a year ago (based on descriptions of your previous spending habits) it sounds like a deal.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the wedding!
I think with the exception of the splurge on new outfits, you did a great job trying to minimize expenses on this. I think I would've made do with something in my wardrobe (remember the brown shoes 'need' for your daughter) and maybe put a little more towards the gift. You (a) combined your celebration with the weekend to cut out a second trip away that you'd been planning, (b) budgeted in advance to be able to pay cash for the trip.
ReplyDeleteI do think that you need to still live your life even while you're paying off debt - that's what we try to do - is find balance. This was a cultural experience you can't replace, and a wedding - which you won't get a do-over on as a couple only gets married once (hopefully). As long as you're not using the credit card and you're within the budget for the month - I don't see a problem.